Maya (maya_spins) wrote,
Maya
maya_spins

  • Music:

When I started typing I didn't know I was going to write this.

Keynote Speaker

Begin.

Step up,
Clear your throat --

butterflies in your stomach
no, snakes
twisting writhing snakes
scaly clammy snakes
green and brown
one is called sam
i want to throw up
i should have written this down
help
the sarus crane mates for life
no that was last week
oh no i've said too much
NO SINGING
my hands are shaking
william shakespeare
to be or not to be
is that the question
the question is when do i begin
let's start at the very beginning a very good place to start
I SAID NO SINGING
wow this is going to be such a disaster it's not even funny
i am not afraid of speaking in public
audience in their underwear
winston churchill
winston churchill won a nobel prize for literature
winston churchill wasn't a vulcan
v for vulcan
v for victory
v for vendetta
what's his name? mr smith
hugo weaving
hugo weaving is australian
yes but he played douglas jardine in bodyline
yes but douglas jardine was english
yes but bodyline was australian
yes but i digress
boy, do i ever digress
scream scream scream
STOP INTRODUCING ME CAN I TALK NOW
breathe breathe breathe
i'm going to begin with the quote after all
it's a good thing i didn't write this down
i should end with the quote
let's be all dramatic about it
excuse me, miss mc, i do not play the piano
i am not a pianist ha ha
i should tell a bawdy joke
THANK YOU FOR SHUTTING UP CAN I GET ON WITH MY SPEECH FINALLY
damn it, get the mic working
does mic rhyme with sic
yes but sic is latin
yes but
oh
okay


-- clear your throat.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."



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